Lindsay Lohan Has the World’s Most Embarrassing Parents
Posted May 8, 2008 
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Don’t ask Lindsay’s dad Michael Lohan his opinion of his ex-wife Dina being honored as a “Top Mom”. He calls the award a joke.
“Are you kidding? Top celebrity mom?” he said. “Look at her off-screen antics, her lack of morals and how she conducts herself. I guess they forgot to mention how this top super-mom leaves her kids alone at night and even parties in their presence. Just wait until we go back to court. She comes stumbling out of Butter at 3:15 a.m. with bloodshot eyes and a red runny nose, yelling ‘Oh, f**k,’ when she saw the paparazzi.”
A 22-year-old Columbia University college student claims Lindsay Lohan stole her $11,000 mink coat in January. Masha Markova thought she lost the blonde coat, a gift from her grandmother, while attending a party at 1 Oak in New York City. Two weeks later she spotted Hohan wearing an identical garment in the pages of OK! magazine in paparazzi photographs that were taken the same night the coat went missing.
Fueled by Grey Goose Vodka, off-the-wagon star Lindsay Lohan bitched at lil Ashley Olsen on Friday night when the troll got too close to Lilo’s DJ pal and “girlfriend”, Samantha Ronson, at the Beatrice Inn in NYC.
The bad news is, Lindsay Lohan has been cast in a new Charles Manson Family movie. The good news is, she’ll be playing a drugged up, strung-out, acid-dropping, psychedelic hippie chick runaway who is easily manipulated to do bad things and later doesn’t remember any of it. Well, helter skelter! Finally Linds gets a role that fits her like a glove. 
She’s just turned 15, but newly cosmetically enhanced Ali Lohan has already had gone to the trout pout look on her lips. Lindsay’s little sister will soon be starring in her mom Dina’s reality show in pursuit of stardom - by adopting a look that makes her look like Ashlee Simpson, but with a smaller nose.
Firecrotch, what took you so long? It was only a matter of time before Lindsay Lohan had her first sex tape leaked onto the internet! (Well, she had to do something to get back in the news…) If it really is her, it’s a pix from a very grainy cell phone video capture picture (vidcap) of Ho-han going down on her ex-boyfriend Calum Best.
While Lindsay Lohan’s mom Dina thinks her daughter’s nude pics are the shit, her pappa Michael says he’s not gonna peek. Mr. Lohan has yet to see the topless shots of Lindsay as a freckled Marilyn Monroe, according to Us Magazine and says: “I’m not going to look at the photos — that’s my daughter!” 
Lindsay Lohan Lindsay Lohan say she’s desperate to take the lead in Tim Burton’s version of the classic story ‘Alice in Wonderland’.